Mainstream media lapdogs fail us again. 

The lamestream media told you:

Four Tennessee National Guard soldiers abandoned their post on the Arizona/Mexico border on Jan. 3 and retreated for cover when four men apparently carrying rifles approached their position from Mexico, from about 100 yards away.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

On Jan. 20, government officials responding to outrage from members of Congress and the public clarified this tale by claiming six to eight men, "wearing bullet proof vests and carrying automatic weapons" approached the observation post and, having split into two teams, came within 20 yards of the Guard troops.

The lamestream media told you:

2006 was the third hottest year on record, further proof that global warming is advancing and threatens all life as we know it. Massive changes in your lifestyle must be enforced by government to save the planet, regardless of the effect on the economy or the American way of life, for the good of all peoples and children of future generations.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Earth has cooled down a bit, as the past year fails once again to take the record as the hottest ever, falling to only third place.

This casts further doubt on recent “global warming” theories, which predict Earth is getting hotter from continuously accumulating carbon dioxide, the gas plants need to thrive and produce breathable oxygen. The reason for the failure to reach new high temperatures was unexplained at press time.

In other news, although massive devastating hurricanes were predicted as a result of the controversial theories, none have developed at all since the beginning of hurricane season last September. Hmmm.

Widely publicized dire predictions months before the season began failed to materialize and have received no attention or followup stories, protecting the guilty. Environmentalists are reportedly still secretly hoping for storms to hit and do damage, to support their theories. Rumors that they are holding seances and invoking spells to produce tropical storms could not be confirmed.

In other news, Colorado has been blanketed in one giant blizzard after another, shutting down air traffic nationwide. Breathless news reports failed to mention a global warming link, or the fact that Colorado, in the middle of the Rocky Mountains, is supposed to get giant blizzards in the middle of the winter.

The last storm to get national news attention was Ernesto, in August 2006, which Cox News Service headlined with lament, “What went wrong? Underachieving storm falls short of expectations,” with a sub-head, “Federal meteorologists defended their handling of the storm.” I am not making this up.

Government agents tortured me in 1985.

I kid you not. Government paramilitaries tortured me on a water board – yes, that same water board you heard about CIA “interrogators” using on prisoners. They strapped me down spread-eagled to a sheet of plywood, stretched a cloth across my face and poured water into it. It felt exactly like drowning. I was completely helpless, and the suffocating revived that same terror I felt when I nearly drowned as a child. My torturers laughed as I coughed and gagged and sputtered and thrashed. When I inhaled, all I got was water; my eyes burned from the water running up my nose and trickling into my lungs.

“Where was your aircraft going?” the lead torturer asked again. “And don't shout. I can't stand loud noises.”

“I don't know!” I shouted, not from defiance, but from the panic of drowning. They all laughed, and someone poured more water.