The lamestream media told you:

2006 was the third hottest year on record, further proof that global warming is advancing and threatens all life as we know it. Massive changes in your lifestyle must be enforced by government to save the planet, regardless of the effect on the economy or the American way of life, for the good of all peoples and children of future generations.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

Earth has cooled down a bit, as the past year fails once again to take the record as the hottest ever, falling to only third place.

This casts further doubt on recent “global warming” theories, which predict Earth is getting hotter from continuously accumulating carbon dioxide, the gas plants need to thrive and produce breathable oxygen. The reason for the failure to reach new high temperatures was unexplained at press time.

In other news, although massive devastating hurricanes were predicted as a result of the controversial theories, none have developed at all since the beginning of hurricane season last September. Hmmm.

Widely publicized dire predictions months before the season began failed to materialize and have received no attention or followup stories, protecting the guilty. Environmentalists are reportedly still secretly hoping for storms to hit and do damage, to support their theories. Rumors that they are holding seances and invoking spells to produce tropical storms could not be confirmed.

In other news, Colorado has been blanketed in one giant blizzard after another, shutting down air traffic nationwide. Breathless news reports failed to mention a global warming link, or the fact that Colorado, in the middle of the Rocky Mountains, is supposed to get giant blizzards in the middle of the winter.

The last storm to get national news attention was Ernesto, in August 2006, which Cox News Service headlined with lament, “What went wrong? Underachieving storm falls short of expectations,” with a sub-head, “Federal meteorologists defended their handling of the storm.” I am not making this up.

The lamestream media told you:

Despite billions in aid spent in Louisiana after the hurricane season of 2005, some of which was “wasted,” much of Louisiana is still a desolate wasteland, with demolished buildings and wreckage strewn everywhere, especially in the hardest hit Ninth Ward.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

People who understand complex social issues, along with low-grade idiots capable of thinking in a straight line, realized from the start that rebuilding homes nine feet below sea level in a hurricane zone was a bad idea, would never occur, and should never have happened in the first place.

Wasting money cleaning up debris in deserted areas, which will be washed away by the next few storms or deteriorated by microbes in a 100% natural process, was also a poor use of public tax money.

Hurricanes Rita and Katrina turned out to be a boon to thousands of families, who used the storm’s aftermath and gigantic infusions of wasteful federal funds, to permanently leave the depressed ghetto conditions and make a better life for themselves and their families in states with employment opportunities and housing not subject to instant erosion from forces of nature.

In other news, crime rates inexplicably skyrocketed in areas where Katrina refugees have taken refuge, especially Houston.

No constitutional authority for blanket rebuilding the homes of people who move into disaster areas to obtain cheap rent could be found at press time.

The lamestream media told you:

The Defense Dept. paid the Dept. of the Interior to help with its procurements, and wasted $1.7 billion, the Washington Post reported in an un-bylined article on Christmas Day. Contracts were awarded without proper supervision, competition, checks on pricing, auditing, or adequate monitoring.

The Uninvited Ombudsman notes however that:

In a development that surprised no one, huge government spending, handled by bureaucrats who have no direct responsibility for anything that goes on, proved once again to be less accountable than even lousy business managers in the private sector. Unlike federal agencies, profit and markets drive a need to make reasonable decisions in non-government operations, and consequences fall directly on the people responsible.

Relying on a story line as ingrained as fat on a good steak, the Washington Post called the expenditure of nearly $2 billion “waste.” The money however, taken by force from taxpayers -- which rarely raises any grumbling from the Post -- was not burned or destroyed or wasted in any traditional understanding of that word.

The money went to companies in the private sector who used it to pay salaries, buy supplies, create goods, provide services, and cover rent, electric bills, dry cleaning and all the other routine costs of being in business and part of a robust economy. Some went into savings accounts to send employees’ children to college.

In that sense, the so-called “waste” returned to the people, where it belongs, after passing through the digestive system of government red tape, which itself consumes and wastes a significant portion of the collected funds. An unknown sum did turn into profit, the standard reward for people who take risks and run businesses in the first place.

How much money would be in the economy if it hadn’t first been diverted into government before being spent is unknown. The fact that government is inefficient and more-or-less unaccountable is a given, and more properly termed “abuse.”

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